For nearly 100 years, the 12-steps have helped countless alcoholics and addicts overcome their challenges. In addition, it helps them learn how to live without turning to the use of drugs or alcohol. Today, there are thousands of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings held in over 180 nations throughout the world, where the 12-Steps are practiced. However, people do not need to go to AA or NA to learn about the 12-Steps and adapt them to their lives, as they can also get exposed to them through professional addiction treatment programs. No matter how, when, or why a person begins utilizing the 12-Step model, doing so can be positively transformative.
Each of the 12 Steps has its own identity, as they focus on different areas of one’s development and growth post-addiction. The first step is sometimes viewed as being the most difficult of them all, as it takes courage and a leap of faith to get moving on working this step. It reads:
“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. 4th ed., Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 2002.
Step One and Surrendering
Step one is where it all begins. It is important for people to spend as much time as they need to work each step. You want to process it fully, understand it, and apply it to your life. You might be wondering, “How do I do step one?” There are several ways that you can do step one correctly so that you can get the most out of it and utilize it as the foundation of your recovery.
The steps, while the same across the board, are subjective to each individual. This means that one person might go about completing step one in a different manner than another person. That is completely acceptable, however, it is important that when finished, individuals know their powerlessness over drugs or alcohol and surrender to the disease of addiction. Some ways to get to that point in step one can include the following:
- Break down denial. It is likely that you have spent a great deal of time telling yourself and others that you did not have a problem with substance abuse. You might have even said it so much that you got yourself to truly believe it. You might even realize, for the first time, that you did have a problem as you begin the steps. Either way, it is imperative to break out of the fog of denial by looking around and assessing your relationship with drugs or alcohol. Doing so can help you get a grip on reality so that you can go forth in your truth.
- Split the step into two parts. Look at step one as 1) admitting that you are powerless over drugs or alcohol and 2) that your life has become unmanageable. Focus on the first part until you are comfortable in saying that you are powerless over drugs or alcohol and believe it when you say it. Then, take the time to look at your life and experiences with an aerial view so that you can see the big picture of how unmanageable it was.
- Let go of ego and focus on humility. Try at least once to let your ego go out the window and adopt humility. This can be much harder than it sounds, especially if you are used to letting your ego run the show. The sooner you find ways to humble yourself, however, the more open you can be to step one and the rest of the steps.
- Place feelings of guilt and shame on the back burner for now. These feelings are so incredibly common, however, they can get in the way of you making progress in your recovery. Do not try to push these feelings down and try to forget them. After all, doing so will only stand in the way of your recovery. But, allowing them to “live” somewhere else while you focus on step one can help avoid distraction and emotional upset that can challenge your progress.
How You Can Make Step One Easier to Accomplish
When you start to fully immerse yourself in the 12 steps, you may experience a number of different emotions. There is nothing light and breezy about step one. Instead, it is often viewed as one of the most difficult steps to accomplish. After all, it requires admittance of having a problem. However, when you do step one, there are things you can do to make it easier.
Some of the most important things you can do when working the first step can include the following:
- Get a sponsor. A sponsor is someone who has accomplished several or all of the 12 steps. They will be able to provide you guidance and support as you begin your own personal journey with the steps. The first sponsor you choose does not have to be permanent. After all, you may decide to ask someone else to sponsor you after you have gotten to know more people. Your sponsor can not only offer you support, but also give you insight on how to own the first step.
- Go to meetings. The vast majority of people who have attended a professional addiction treatment program have been exposed to the 12 steps. However, many of those same individuals don’t really begin diving into the steps until they start going to meetings. Not only do meetings help immerse you in the steps, but it also helps to hear the experiences of others. As a result, you can gather strength, confidence, and perseverance for your own journey.
- Make the most of your time spent in 12-Step meetings or groups. Whether you are in treatment or in recovery, you can make the most of your time by fully engaging in 12-step meetings. This can include ensuring that you are paying attention, sharing, asking questions, etc. The more involved you are in your meetings or groups, the easier it will be to accomplish your steps.
There is no specific way to do step one, as every person struggling with addiction is different. The most important thing you can do when working step one is to remember the goal of the step. Do what you can to fully absorb the meaning of the step, and take action that will help you to surrender.