Prayer in Alcoholics Anonymous
Alcoholics Anonymous has provided a recovery resource for alcohol addiction since 1935 to millions of individuals.[1] Spirituality is a central aspect of the AA program, while prayer is one of the easiest tools that members of AA may use to find recovery. AA is not a religious organization; however, members are encouraged to develop their own personal relationship with a Higher Power of their understanding.
In AA, prayer serves several purposes:
- A moment of unified focus during a meeting
- Assists an individual in finding balance with themselves when faced with challenges
- Reinforces AA’s principles of humility, acceptance, and surrender as key tenets of the program
For those in recovery, learning how to effectively use prayer is a drastic shift from self-reliance to recognizing a need for assistance beyond one’s own will.
What Is the Serenity Prayer?
The Serenity Prayer is the most recognized recovery prayer of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although the prayer is often attributed to American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, he potentially wrote it in the 1930s or early 1940s. Yale University’s research has identified that the specific source of the prayer continues to remain somewhat ambiguous.[2] Regardless of its origin, the prayer has become an intrinsic part of a member’s experience of Alcoholics Anonymous.
The simple version of the prayer that is generally recited at meetings is as follows:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
This extremely simple and powerful prayer is not only applicable to those in recovery, but it also contains elements that highlight the scope and nature of humanity while providing empowerment for people seeking to take accountability for their individual circumstances. For someone considering recovery from alcohol use disorder, it is essential for them to accept the things they cannot change and to act on the things they can change.
The longer version of the Serenity Prayer will occasionally be used in AA settings.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as the pathway to peace, taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it, trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.”
Understanding the Three Core Principles of the Serenity Prayer
Accepting What Cannot Be Changed
The first element of the Serenity Prayer is to grant peace to the individual in acceptance of their realities that are beyond their ability to control. For someone in recovery, this may represent making peace with what they have done in the past and recognizing that they are suffering from an illness of addiction or working toward restoring a damaged relationship or friendships. To accept does not mean agreeing with or approving of the given circumstance; rather, acceptance provides for an objective view of the given reality or situation while at the same time providing an opportunity for an individual to not waste any more of their energy fighting against an unchangeable reality.
Courage to Effectuate Change
Whereas the acceptance portion of the Serenity Prayer provides the individual with direction regarding that which they cannot change, the courageous attribute identifies that there are some things in the individual’s life that they can change. Recovery requires great courage to admit that alcohol has control over their lives, to accept making amends to those whom they have harmed, and to completely change the way they live their life. The courage portion of the Serenity Prayer serves as a reminder to the members of AA that through individual effort they can create change in their life and that they can call on their Higher Power for the strength to pursue this change.
Wisdom to Discern the Difference
Perhaps the most important aspect regarding how to utilize the principles related to the Serenity Prayer may be to learn how to use the development of wisdom to help the individual determine if they should accept or take action. Using wisdom continues to develop over time through new experiences; through continual contact with a sponsor; and using the 12 Steps of AA as daily practices for discerning the difference between acceptance (of what one cannot change) or the opportunity to take action (to change deliberate efforts) regarding the individual’s recovery process.
The Serenity Prayer and Recovery
While the Serenity Prayer can function as a ritualistic recitation at meetings, there are many individual members of AA who incorporate the Serenity Prayer into their daily lives in support of their recovery process.
Using the Serenity Prayer in Morning Meditation
Prior to the hustle and bustle of the day starting, an individual may start their morning with the Serenity Prayer so they remain open-minded and focus on acceptance. Using the Serenity Prayer in conjunction with other mindfulness practices, such as writing, will provide the person with a greater understanding of how they can use the Serenity Prayer to support their growth and recovery.
Using the Serenity Prayer to Manage Cravings
An individual may recite the Serenity Prayer when they become triggered and/or experience cravings or are under stress. This allows the person to have enough time to pause and devote a small amount of time to contemplate the event that triggered their desire to drink; therefore, causing them to be able to think about what is going to happen as a result of their desire to drink, and provide them with accurate thought patterns when processing what to do next.
Using the Serenity Prayer to Process Difficult Emotions
Many individuals in recovery will need to process through the very painful emotions that they previously numbed for so long using alcohol, and use the Serenity Prayer as a guideline for how to cope and/or process these emotions and/or feelings as they occur.
Feelings of anxiety, grief, and anger can all manifest as strong emotions, while feelings of shame or guilt can also arise in response to these powerful emotions. When processing these feelings, members will benefit from using the Serenity Prayer as it allows individuals a framework for discernment: “What emotions do I need to accept versus what emotions signal the need for me to change?”
Many members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) incorporate the use of the Serenity Prayer when reviewing their previous daily acts each evening. Members will take a moment and look back on the practices of the day through three different lenses: acceptance, courage, and wisdom. This allows individuals to conduct an honest self-assessment without being too harshly critical of themselves.
AA Step Prayers
The step prayers are prayers associated with specific steps of AA and can assist members in addressing certain aspects of their recovery process, as well as developing a heightened sense of spirituality.
Step One and Step Two Prayers
The first two steps require an acknowledgment of one’s powerlessness over alcohol and that a higher power can restore sanity. The prayers associated with these two steps focus on the power of acceptance and of inviting help into one’s life.
Step Three Prayer
The Third Step Prayer is the third and most important prayer an AA member will use. The prayer reads:
“God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”
The completion of this prayer signifies the moment when AA members remove all attachment to alcohol and allow a higher power to guide their lives.
Step Seven Prayer
The Seventh Step Prayer supports Step Seven, which focuses on an individual’s willingness to ask their higher power to remove the character defects that negatively affect an individual’s ability to be of service to others and serve themselves effectively. The prayer reads:
“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”
Step Eleven Prayer
The completion of the step eleven prayer marks the beginning of consistent prayer and meditation as an ongoing discipline for AA members. The step eleven prayer asks for guidance from a member’s higher power and the strength to follow that guidance. Many AA members use step eleven as motivation to create a consistent prayer practice that continues outside of AA meetings.
The Science Behind Prayer in Recovery
There is mounting evidence from researchers that supports the connection between spirituality and addiction recovery.[3] People who practice spirituality while recovering from addiction show greater recovery outcomes than individuals who do not practice spirituality. Research also indicates that prayer activates the same regions of the brain as meditation does, providing relaxation and reducing the stress response.
The communal aspect of prayer in AA meetings facilitates a sense of belonging and shared purpose. When members recite the Serenity Prayer together, they create an emotional bond amongst themselves and engender a sense of protection against relapse.
The integration of spirituality into evidence-based treatment is now being adopted as best practice for treating addiction; evidence of its value can be drawn from numerous studies on the efficacy of spirituality in treating addiction. Although prayer does not replace other forms of medical treatment or therapies, it is beneficial as an augmenting activity.
Adapting AA Prayers for Non-Religious Members
The AA program makes it clear that AA is a spiritual fellowship with no religious affiliation, and that members are free to interpret their concept of a higher power in whatever manner they choose. AA members who are more comfortable with secular language and terminology can effectively adapt either the structure or meaning of the group prayers to suit their individual preferences. For example, members may substitute “God” in the prayers with “the Universe”, “Source”, “Higher Power”, or “Inner Wisdom”. Members may also focus on the principle associated with the prayer, without referring to any particular entity.
