How to Correctly Do Step One and Surrender

For nearly 100 years, the 12-steps have helped countless people overcome alcohol and drug addiction. In addition, it helps them learn how to live without turning to the use of drugs or alcohol. Today, there are thousands of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous meetings held in over 180 nations throughout the world, where the 12-Steps are practiced. However, people do not need to go to AA or NA to learn about the 12-Steps and adapt them to their lives, as they can also get exposed to them through professional addiction treatment programs. No matter how, when, or why a person begins utilizing the 12-Step model, doing so can be positively transformative.

Each of the 12 Steps has its own identity, as they focus on different areas of one’s development and growth post-addiction. The first step is sometimes viewed as being the most difficult of them all, as it takes courage and a leap of faith to get moving on working this step. It reads:

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book. 4th ed., Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, 2002.

How to Work Step One in AA and NA

Step one is where it all begins. It is important for people to spend as much time as they need to work each step. You want to process it fully, understand it, and apply it to your life. You might be wondering, “How do I do step one?” There are several ways that you can do step one correctly so that you can get the most out of it and use it as the foundation of your recovery.

What Does Surrender Mean in Step One?

Surrender is the part of Step One people misunderstand most. It can sound like giving up. Kate Greenwald, our Executive Director, puts it this way:

“Surrender in recovery is not about giving up on yourself. It is about recognizing that the ways you have tried to control your substance use have not worked and becoming willing to accept help. Step One is not a judgment about your strength or character, and it does not mean you are powerless to change your life. The practical work is turning that honesty into action—asking for support, being open about your struggles, and becoming willing to try something different rather than returning to familiar patterns.”

Kate Greenwald, LPC, LCADC, Executive Director, All In Solutions

The steps, while the same across the board, are subjective to each individual. This means that one person might go about completing step one in a different manner than another person. That is completely acceptable, however, it is important that when finished, individuals accept that the ways they have tried to control their drug or alcohol use have not worked, and become willing to accept help. Some ways to get to that point in step one can include the following:

• Break down denial. It is likely that you have spent a great deal of time telling yourself and others that you did not have a problem with substance abuse. You might have even said it so much that you got yourself to truly believe it. You might even realize, for the first time, that you did have a problem as you begin the steps. Either way, it is imperative to break out of the fog of denial by looking around and assessing your relationship with drugs or alcohol. Doing so can help you get a grip on reality so that you can go forth in your truth.
• Split the step into two parts. Look at step one as 1) admitting that you are powerless over drugs or alcohol and 2) that your life has become unmanageable. Focus on the first part until you are comfortable in saying that you are powerless over drugs or alcohol and believe it when you say it. Then, take the time to look at your life and experiences with an aerial view so that you can see the big picture of how unmanageable it was.
• Let go of ego and focus on humility. Try at least once to let your ego go out the window and adopt humility. This can be much harder than it sounds, especially if you are used to letting your ego run the show. The sooner you find ways to humble yourself, however, the more open you can be to step one and the rest of the steps.
• Place feelings of guilt and shame on the back burner for now. These feelings are so incredibly common, however, they can get in the way of you making progress in your recovery. Do not try to push these feelings down and try to forget them. After all, doing so will only stand in the way of your recovery. But, allowing them to “live” somewhere else while you focus on step one can help avoid distraction and emotional upset that can challenge your progress.

How to Make Step One Easier

When you start to fully immerse yourself in the 12 steps, you may experience a number of different emotions. There is nothing light and breezy about step one. Instead, it is often viewed as one of the most difficult steps to accomplish. After all, it requires admittance of having a problem. However, when you do step one, there are things you can do to make it easier.

Some of the most important things you can do when working the first step can include the following:

• Get a sponsor. A sponsor is someone who has accomplished several or all of the 12 steps. They will be able to provide you guidance and support as you begin your own personal journey with the steps. The first sponsor you choose does not have to be permanent. After all, you may decide to ask someone else to sponsor you after you have gotten to know more people. Your sponsor can not only offer you support, but also give you insight on how to own the first step.
• Go to meetings. The vast majority of people who have attended a professional addiction treatment program have been exposed to the 12 steps. However, many of those same individuals don’t really begin diving into the steps until they start going to meetings. Not only do meetings help immerse you in the steps, but it also helps to hear the experiences of others. As a result, you can gather strength, confidence, and perseverance for your own journey.
• Make the most of your time spent in 12-Step meetings or groups. Whether you are in treatment or in recovery, you can make the most of your time by fully engaging in 12-step meetings. This can include ensuring that you are paying attention, sharing, asking questions, etc. The more involved you are in your meetings or groups, the easier it will be to accomplish your steps.

Step One Questions to Reflect On

Many people write out their answers and talk them through with a sponsor or counselor. There are no right answers. Honesty matters more than polish.

1. When did I first notice my drinking or drug use was causing problems?
2. What promises have I made to myself or others about cutting back, and what happened?
3. What rules have I set, like “only on weekends” or “never before 5,” and how long did they last?
4. What have I lost or put at risk because of my use: relationships, work, money, health, legal trouble?
5. What have I kept hidden from the people closest to me?
6. What does “unmanageable” look like in my life right now?
7. What am I afraid will happen if I admit I can’t control this on my own?
8. What would it look like to ask for help this week?

Working Step One With a Sponsor or Sponsee

A sponsor doesn’t grade your Step One. They share how they worked it and help you see your own patterns more clearly. Most sponsors ask you to read the step, write honest answers to questions like the ones above, then talk them through together.

If you’re sponsoring someone, lead with your own experience. Share the moment Step One clicked for you. Let your sponsee reach their own admission in their own time. Pushing someone to say the “right” words can turn surrender into a performance.

Step One in NA and Al-Anon

Narcotics Anonymous words Step One around powerlessness over addiction rather than alcohol, so it covers any substance. The work is the same: honest admission, then willingness to accept help.

Al-Anon uses Step One for family members and friends. There, powerlessness means accepting that you can’t control a loved one’s drinking or drug use, so you can start caring for yourself.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long should Step One take?

There’s no set timeline. Some people work it in a few weeks; others take months. Move on when you can say the step honestly and mean it, not when a calendar says so.

Do I have to say I’m powerless to work Step One?

Step One asks you to admit that your own attempts to control your use haven’t worked. That isn’t the same as being powerless over your whole life. Many people find the admission gives them more control, not less.

What if I relapse after working Step One?

Relapse doesn’t erase the work you did. Many people revisit Step One after a relapse and understand it more deeply the second time. Talk to your sponsor, and reach out for professional support if you need it.

Can I work the 12 Steps in treatment?

Yes. Many treatment programs, including ours, include 12-Step work alongside therapy. Learn more about our 12-Step program.

What Comes After Step One

Step One clears the ground. Step Two is where hope comes back in. Read our guide to Step Two: restoring hope, or revisit the AA prayers many people lean on while working the steps.

If you’re struggling to stay sober while you work the steps, you don’t have to do it alone. Call admissions now at (855) 762-3796, or check my insurance.

There is no specific way to do step one, as every person struggling with addiction is different. The most important thing you can do when working step one is to remember the goal of the step. Do what you can to fully absorb the meaning of the step, and take action that will help you to surrender.